Spanking News Online

With all the talk about overspending, money shortages and the downturn in the economy now would seem a good time to go out to the local ironmongers (do we still have them)? And equip the house for fun evenings at home.

Some nicely coloured rope, clothes pegs, chain, padlocks, spatulas, electric toothbrush, lead fishing weights, hooks…What can they all be for? A friend of ours is fond of saying that ‘by the time he has got his lady of the moment all tied up he has forgotten what he was going to do with her once she was tied up’ A sure sign of advancing years and the onset of dementia. Should this happen to you just give us a call here and we will ensure that our cub reporter Grindstone, is round with you before you can say ‘you’re not doing that to me’.

 Anyway we think every home should have a cupboard like this, with a strong lock to keep the kids out. When the lights finally do go out on the economy, when you can’t afford to go to La Mirage for that overpriced nosh just unlock the door, tell your lady to put on  the last of her French perfume and little else, open the last bottle of Spanish Cava, invite your equally impoverished neighbours around and have fun, little else makes sense in this world.